The Dirt
Olivia Carolyn Pope: You got outed for playing hide and peek with the President, and to your surprise who saves you? Poppa Pope! He is your superman, dark knight with shiny toys, like a plane for a quick getaway. OK he doesn’t wear a big S on his chest, he’s what a curator at the Smithsonian? (wink wink) Damn girl, your daddy is a BEAST. Private plane . Money is no object. Live in the country of your choice? What do you do? You run back into the fire and basically tell him to kiss your tail “I’m never out of options! You spit at him, because the friggin Devil rigged the details to his favor. I know I said Cyrus was a beast , but Poppa Pope makes Bean look like a puppy! You got your tenacity honestly. “To be clear-- I am the Hell and I am the High Water”, that’s quite a proclamation from the ultimate fixer, wouldn’t you say. I’m going out on a limb and say you learned a lot from dear old Dad. Girl, GoDaddy loves you, otherwise he wouldn’t have opted to “fix” things for you.Observation: Your puppy eyes emerged (again) and your lips quivered when Poppa Pope described “whorish” actions in detail (hell I flinched) - you know, the way you gave up the cookie over and over and over again; yet you admonished the first lady for describing you as Fitz’s whore, and yes, in your face. What did Poppa say “You have to be what- Twice as good??, I think you took that meaning way in the wrong direction.
Cyrus: You have no heart. You beg your friend to get off the plane only to throw her under the bus because you were going to lose favor with Fitz? You’ve been in the dog house before, what’s another bone? Now why would Fitz think you killed Liv? Yup, it’s official, Monster is your new name, I don’t think you are OCP’s monster, I’m not sure who you belong to, right now, I’m thinking it’s all about the Bean. She still doesn’t know you double crossed her with a kill folder, really? The line you come up with when the contents of the kill folder is revealed demeans your “maker” as a power hungry slut. How brilliant is that. Then, you throw your hand in with Mellie???? Mellie!!!!!! You keep pimping poor James and that dog is going to bite you! Fair warning!
Melllie: You are a walking talking freaky, sneaky, mindblowing pain in the ass, but I just love you! OK, you could have pulled the kill switch on Olitz way back when, but noooooo, you know most of the kinky details of when they’ve played spin the bottle, you control the two of them, put your business in the street, then, throw a non suspecting random press chick under the bus to get your way. Ornamental, NOT, functional, INDEED; you asked for a war, you got it. It’s gonna be fun to see you and Fitz “go at it” this year. He did get you with an in your face or two, one when he told you straight up, he was in love with another woman, and the second time when he freed Olivia by giving up her name. Mellie, make some magic and spend all that free time doing what you do best, keep tinkling in the water and you know… make it rain!
We are Gladiators Bitches!!
How many times Harrison have I told you I’m gonna need some of you in my life. Are we Gladiators….or are we bitches?? Really, baby daddy? Must you truly ask? Over a cliff man, over a jagged edge cliff baby!!! Huck you are the ride or die rock star of my life, I wouldn’t give you up either. Abby, Quinn, you girls need to focus, really, you seemed a little off your game last week. Quinn it’s bad form to salivate over killing interns, good or bad; Abby, vavoom girl, I see you went to the dry bar and got a make over, huh? I noticed, and so did David! Call him girl, you know you want to!Fitz the fool: You had it all figured out didn’t you? You decided you’d leak Liv’s name as your mistress, then decided to grow a moral conscious about it. We both know there was nothing moral about what you were thinking. Ok in all fairness, you have to be the most sappy, romantic, most goofy leader of the free world. You don’t get a happy ending. It won’t work, and not now dude because we’ve got a gazillion more seasons to go with this stuff! The country seems to be standing by you even through your daliances, and the women you “dally” with are either dead, tossed aside or are forever waiting behind the curtain. I’m really not liking you right now.
Poppa Pope: Man, you burnt a hole in my television screen, you are intense, you are a nightmare, you are a storm where calm has no peace, you are a mean mean man!!! Liv came to you to save Huck didn’t she? That’s why he’s not dead right? You are a bad man with a God complex, I’m thinking somebody will have the courage to knock you on your highwater ass about mid -season. You got your baby’s momma tucked away somewhere don’t you? Harrison is Liv’s brother isn’t he? What do you have up your sleeve next to bring havoc to Fitz’ life? It’s clear you don’t like him very much, I want to know why. What’s in the folder? Where’s Jake? Why is Cyrus so friggin afraid of you? What do you mean, you answer to no one? What? I asked too many questions? Nooooo, why is Charlie here? , noooo not the hole in the ground….. ahhhhhhhh!
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