Did the wind get sucked out of ShondaLand? Why can’t I damnit breathe! Wait! I’m coming to… breathing is slow to resume as I also remember, things are not always what they seem in Twisty-Turny-ville? Right? Slowly, methodically good storytelling is taking place but why do I feel like I got “Ooops upside your head” slapped! As Operation Remington drags along, this week, it was all about Power and Pairings. Clutch your pearls girls, get your gin men, Ish is about to get real in Gladiator town! Let’s go to the bottom and start at the top!
Poppa Pope and POTUS
I said it before, POTUS, you are a walking Fitzaster! You are ass deep in Remington, now we find out that you may have intentionally or not, killed OCP’s mom? I’m thinking you are more of a puppet than even you know. And how, pray tell do you know Poppa Pope? “You’re in the same place I left you… in the Shadows??” What’s that all about? Do YOU know you were banging his baby girl? He sure as hell does. I will reserve comment on you until all the deets (as slow as they are) come out on this, I have a feeling you were a pawn in Command’s end game. But right now, you’re stock is hot and for all the wrong reasons. Poppa “The Puppeteer” Pope. You are pulling everybodys strings, I see, but I want to know who is pulling yours! Enter Maya – I’m holding out hope that she is not dead. I’m wondering who is really going to be the hero and villan in this story line?
Side note: I thought Cyrus was going to soil his pants when Fitz recommended the dissolution of B613 from the Oval Office. His face was darn near Delta red! “Don’t ever” say that again! LOL! The fight between POTUS and COMMAND is brilliant.
Bip and Trip
Cy and Mellie: OMG, enter the campaign manager with the stings of the week with the you dropped a bomb on me lines, please forgive me while I do a paraphrase mash of a couple of his lines ‘up in here’. Mellie you are the shrew that needs a screw and apparently a good one! What?? Yes Mellie, I’m looking forward to your response on that. I guess you hire a campaign manager to not kiss your proverbial ass, but to tell you how while you are not spanking the presidential monkey, a lot of somebody’s else’s are! Just think of me as a member of the team, you say, big hair and all. It’s the truth you already knew and was afraid to face. Mean Cyrus Beane, you actually stood by while this guy called your Mantress a Loser? You guys are really lost and pressed aren’t you. You were supposed to bite back, or did you leave your teeth in the container in the bathroom? The pair of you are laughable, I’m putting you two boobs back in the tube!Hardy Boys
Jake and Huck: I wouldn't at all be happy to have this twosome show up at my door. Love is a damned good motivator, now isn’t it? Jake, you’re biding your time with Liv; you won’t play second fiddle. I get that. I’m thinking she’s not for you anyways, so just keep it moving. You are recently unemployed and in search of a career change so maybe your loyalty skills will land you on the team of the Gladiators. Loyalty is the main vein in that body of warriors and you already have that. Question, though, you do know that getting back at her father will ultimately hurt her, right? You do know her heart has been drenched in disaster, lately, right? Did you not notice that black cloud that’s been following her for oh, I don’t know forever??? I’m just checking. Don’t make her start yelling again, it so annoys me when she yells. Huck you are so touching. You ask Jake if “Liv “ is happy. Hmm, who are you? Have you created some super-secret Universe where the two of you are obliviously dancing naked in the garden of Eden, listening to Earth Wind & Fire, and drinking fine wine; oops , my bad whisky? Come back to solid grown man, you fell in the hole of non-function again. I don’t like you like that. You creep me out. OK Hardy boys, you happen to find out some really damning information about the President, right in time for re-election, and just as OCP may be making a choice between two candidates. BOOM! The President may have killed her mom, Maya Pope. Reality check: First of all Hardy boys, how could you just KNOW that Poppa Pope had dastardly damaging information on his HOME computer where there are no major SECURITY measures? What high ranking official keeps such critical information on their personal home computer anyway? Seriously, a man who controls minds and trains killers for a living would not be so stupid as to leave himself so vulnerable at home. He is after all the President of his own invisible Universe to which you are unwitting foot soldiers. So Hardy boys, do the math, how long will it be before Command says, good job? She’s gonna Yell, I’m telling you. It’s going to be Loud!
Side note: Maya Popes mom is going to be played in flashback scenes by Khandi Alexander. Looking forward to meeting Momma Pope!
Abby and David
You two horny rascals, I love you together. Go on, get lost and make some red haired, pale, green eyed babies with glasses wearing white hats! Run along now!
Quinn and her little friend
Girl, your thirst is about to burst. Ms. Drill baby Drill – now who are you gonna kill, huh? OK, you got sidelined and put on time out in Montana, but took a sidetrack of your own. You crafty little hussy! That shiny little “friend” you’ve just acquired? Girl, you got the wrong hankering and you are in for a hot heaping mess of trouble. Especially if you might be thinking about going after someone like, say, Hollis Doyle or some random, but bad Intern? You know, for fun? Just sit it down girl. Sit it down.
Mellie and Olivia
We were young and fresh…approval ratings are at a free fall… he needs you… he’s tired and broken….. he needs you, so I need you come back come back to us. Really? (Don’t do it Kizzi!) There you go again, Meddling Mellie, if he is to be the man you know he can be, um, how about leaving him the hell alone. You had what you wanted, you had Saint Olivia out of your life, now, not only are so desparate to have her back, you woo her back in a literal lap dance by boosting her up to be what you envision her to be through your husband’s eye. He’s not telling you these things, because you sneak around listening in on his conversations and you find him like you have a GPS chip up his tail. You are a twick sisted chick. If you want to turn a blind eye to OLITZ, do that, go on and do some down low ding donging done of your own and leave these two alone. When Fitz leaves office, divorce him quietly, then be on your way and let them live happily ever after. They have enough problems of their own. Why do you feel the need to “control” the situation? Last week she was Fitz’s whore. Now neither of you can live without her? You can’t have it both ways Ms. Messie. I recall last year when you made the decision when things went horribly wrong AND after condoning this relationship in the first place to take “your husband back” to engage in some tantric in the making of baby Teddy? (I really want to say a Dr. Invitro was involved, not the presidential pole!) You lied then too remember? What’s your end game honey, I know you have one! Do what you do. Cuz honeeeey you do it good!
OCP.
OK, Lovvie, I get it. You’re hopelessly in love with the POTUS, but you can’t have him. Weren’t you told that way back in season 2? You let it go. Girl it’s your game, not his. Don’t be his and Messie Mellie’s toy on the shelf. If the Fitzaster wants to be with you, he needs to do the right thing. Why are you still hovering? You are gorgeous! You are brilliant, well most times when you’re not thinking with your pesky emotions. Move on, take a Pilates class, hang out with Quinn, get a gun, do something, but forget about that mess of a man that’s married to Mellie! Yes, in part Scandal is the relationship between you and him, and Mellie, and Jake, and Cyrus, and so on, and so on. You are truly trying to making my moral compass go south, I do have a true north you know! (Hallylooyer!) My advice? Walk fast. Don’t get caught up again. Remember; When you lie down with dogs, you are sure to wake up with fleas! You’ve been warned!
BTW, I know Darlin’ wasn’t so fond of the hair but I loved your complete look for the Correspondents dinner. It was a dramatic change for you, but girl - where the hell was catwalk? Really? You had that Pope strut turnt up on high now, didn’t you?
Josie, her sister/daughter
Push me, pull you is the game you played with Liv. You tell her the truth but you don’t want her to use it. The truth is your friend, right? You want to run for President, but you have all of these little bones in your closet tapping to get out. Pregnant at 15, your baby daddy is Billy Bob Bustintail; a lover boy who can’t keep his boots from under someone else’s bed . Oh wait, your sister doesn’t know you had a daughter and your daughter doesn’t know she’s your sister. So Liv’s people POPEd the President’s posse in order to save your patooty and you fire her. Good going. Now that you’ve seen her in the light that deserves, you want to hire her back again. Don’t worry, I’m sure she will come back, but with rules of her own this time. Tone it down a little, you’re just a little too much on this side of obnoxious!
Annoyable Mention Sad Sally the VEEP
Last but not left, in the aftermath of the Presidential penis predicament here you are, the Saddest Sally of all. You visit Leo the campaign guy in the men’s room to possibly encourage him to manage your “secret” campaign to become POTUS. Running as an independent are we Missy? Just the thing the other two bozo campaigns need, a third wheel siphoning off the vote! I have to give it to you, you got moxxy! I’m looking for your star to rise (and fall) with your husband by your side. He does look, however like he’s hell on wheels. So enjoy the ride until the damn brakes fall off, they will. Like tea much?
No comments:
Post a Comment