Going home to nurse my Scandal hangover.
VINDICATION:
Well, White Hats back on, David Rosen; your ass has been redeemed, sort of. Now you know how to play the game. You played everyone, didn’t you? You played along to get along with Billy, because you know he was a real murderous thug, who framed you for murder. Yes, you played your friends at OPA; they may have done you an injustice, they cost you your job and a fall from grace. without them Billy would not only have cost you your freedom, he would have probably been responsible for a log term relationship with a dude named Bubba. I'm just saying, you played your cards to get your job back, to keep you loyalty intact and you also sent a subtle message of thanks to Liv. Good shout out! #HESBACK #OHHELL
DAMNATION:
Billy - Nice crazy glue speech, wake up and smell the justice? How about you say hello to Huck’s little friend, Quinn-adrenaline! Billyboy, you knew you could not outrun the Huck. He’s like a monster that keeps coming in the Horror movies, no matter how fast you run, FrankenDracHuck always catch you. You should know things won’t end well when you end up naked on the tarp on the floor tied down and tortured again. Make it easy on yourself; plead crazy, you may get to live. Oh, tell Bubba David says hey! #752903
INITIATION:
Baby Huck, what’s up girl? In the beginning of the season you were an inquisitive, demure little spit of a personality in search of the truth. You puzzle me, you begged the Mentor to let Charlie go last week, this week you go all TARANTINO BLOODY on us. I’m thinking you need to back away from the caffeine and get some sleep. I know you wanted to get in the game and were tired of sitting on the sidelines, but Quinn, drilling holes in a person’s body is NEVER ok! I do say that however, while I am fully clothed and backing away from you and that damned drill!#ITSCOMPLICATED
RESERVATION:
Huck. How do we just love this killer? “It's true what they say. If you want someone killed right, you've gotta kill them yourself.” I’m assuming they stay dead, too. Great teacher, but BabyHuck crossed the line, hurt somebody and loved it. Where do you go from here? Your foundation is a little shaky; you are bit off your game. You worry about Quinn? Really? You created a monster and you worry about her? Man, go back in the corner to mumbling again because you are not making sense right now. Oh yeah, you knew Mr. B613 was Liv’s dad, didntcha?#IHEARTHUCK
CONTEMPLATION:
Harrison, you’re still my boo even if you talked slow enough in the very few words you spoke during the finale. Yes, honey, Ish did get real. Somebody best make me believe you are coming back next season. Soon! #GIVEITTOMESLOW#OVERACLIFF #ANYTIME #CALLME?
REVELATION:
Abby – that feeling in the pit of your stomach was “I Got Ya!”, courtesy of David Rosen (as sung by Joe Tex!) My bad for thinking you were in on it with you. You’re true, I get it. #STOLEITBACK
CONDEMNATION:
I give up, Jake, you’re not the snake but you’re still a little creepy stalkerish, too. You know you played yourself by asking Rowan questions you did about Liv; you showed you cared for her. Bad move. Real talk bro, that agent that you killed, you know, the lady from the pastry shop that was standing behind Rowan at the monument? She wasn’t coming to kill Liv, or to kill you. Rowan asked to “talk” to Olivia, remember? You assumed he wanted her dead. So you go to Liv’s, save her life, tell her you are B613, it was your job, that it didn’t mean anything, you were supposed to sleep with her, tell her don’t bother missing you, you melt when she kisses you, (I saw you savor them lips!) then you go back into the world like a brave little soldier and take your punishment. How much can a girl process in one moment, hell I went from hating you to falling in love in seconds! You give up everything for Liv, that’s the guy you are, all in. You are in love with the Boss’ daughter (unknowingly) and get thrown in the box of condemnation. That’s the guy you are, the guy in the friggin box #TREASON!
DOMINATION:
ROWAN. Daddy dearest! I knew it! You are one tick swisted jerk. What Father can stomach watching tapes of his daughter having romantic encounters with men? If you saw one, I’m sure you saw all three. (Liv, I will chat with you about that in a sec) I have more questions than commentary for you; how the hell are you going to explain yourself to Liv? You know she’s gonna tell momma, right? How did you know to grab her and that the paparazzi were going to be hanging out at her place? You told didn't you? #SNITCHESGETSTICHES
REDEMPTION:
James, I don’t forgive you either; you’re more of a Wendy Williams than a Katy Couric. You know Cyrus played you when you got that “little tip” don’t you? I’m just saying. Make it gossip, it will be more interesting. #HOWUDOIN!
AGGRAVATION:
MELLIE. OK girl, the reset button has been hit. Slates are clean, he’s running again and he’s now trying to use his Superpower on you. I guess now you’re going to start listening to the Mean Bean now right? Cyrus was right after all, wasn’t he? What are going to be your demands this time? Another baby? ( naw you just got your figure back, and we really don’t know who the baby daddy is, do we, my bad, shhh I won’t tell!) You want an issue? How about family values! Lol!! I’m thinking you will be able to write your own ticket. Yes you have been humiliated, but on the other hand sweet cakes, you opened your big pie whole and spread your POTUS FLOTUS personals across the country for what? Sympathy and support? You don’t get to play victim Mellie when you allowed this “thing” to happen between the Fitzaster and Liv in the first place. You supported it, encouraged them. So essentially this thing between the two of them of you is your own fault. I’m your girl now; I’m not going to tell you anything wrong, ok? I know you’re going to lie to me but you leaked the story about the “dirty little mistress” didn’t you? You can tell me! You have all to gain from the news getting out because this will ensure no public future for Liv and Fitz. You also know there is no romantic future for you and he, right? Yeah but did Fitz actually throw the race card at you? OK, that was wrong, but it was funny because you actually turned two shades pale! Keep walking behind him to clean up his ish, stand by your man, do what you do; there will be assuredly a spot in history for you one day. #MELLIEFORPREZ
CONTRADICTION:
Cyrus the BEAST, bad ass AND kicking ass during a heart attack. I fell on the floor with laughter when you tried to shoot the paramedic for taking your phone while saving your life. Oh, “it’s nothing” you say to OLITZ on the phone while on the way to the hospital! Dude, you are mean as hell, your favorite word is stupid and every time you yell I pass the hell out! The doctors let you out because they were tired of hearing you YELLING! You liken the VPOTUS to Hank the Presidential dog, you yell at OLITZ for them both being “children”, reminding Liv, you’ve stolen, cheated, killed, and almost died for them, but you cower in the presence of Rowan. Why is that? Do you know about the box in the floor in the room in the dark at a place that’s undisclosed? What does he have on you? Your friends know who you are and they still love you saying “that’s Cyrus”. I mean this in the most respectful way, calm your ass down this summer! Play with your fat chunky baby, keep the assassins out of your sandbox and plant some flowers in your garden, and don’t get ants in your pants. #DAMNBEAST!
SALVATION:
Olivia and Fitz. Would have been a nice inauguration; the plan was good. Hell I would have voted for you. You know the old saying, if you’re making plans say it out loud the devil gets a hold of it and you know the rest. Great speech Fitz, I almost believed your murderous tail! Honestly, I’m glad you two are back on speaking terms, and are much kinder and gentler to each other. You just wreak havoc and destruction when you don’t speak. Slammin each other across tables and up in other folks houses to boot! (Hell and that’s when you weren’t speaking!) I didn’t know the two of you knew what a bed was until last week! Liv, look gull, (like my Granma would say) this man loves you, (or he’s just a freak for your superpower!) He has seen you in bed with two other men, not heard about it, not imagined it, he SAW you “giving up the cookie”, and liking it! He still loves you. He even does what you say to his own detriment. He went back to Mellie because you told him to; he was groveling so she could be by his side for the election. He did have that I'll get Liv back look on his face when Mel gave him her “woo woo woo” touch. He knew you didn’t’ reject him Liv; he knew you went home to be the Mama Bear. You took your team over a cliff Chief, the wrong one, now you have to save them. You got some fixin to do! Even BabyHuck is going to need you now. Fitz, do you know what Liv does? She fixes things? Do you know the people on her staff? One is a trained killer. She love and protects him as if he was her own womb child! That Piggy (Myrna) “may have been as dead as a slab of bacon”, by your hands, but how does she get to judge you? You’re the friggin POTUS; you don’t get to kill people!!! You got people to do that! That is something you have to live with. The good news is she didn’t tell you to go to hell, but she didn’t kiss you goodbye then either. The reset button has been hit, the slate is clean. Mama Bear has daddy issues to deal with. She’s got this too. She’s a Gladiator! #SEPT3
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